Jeff Gore
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process

An American who wants to retire the penny, what will Stephen use for tipping?

April 9, 2008 NailingEdit




  • costs more to make a penny than a penny
  • wasting time handling pennies at a register
  • stop and smell the pennies
  • doesn't want to stare at the back of every woman
  • people can keep them, use them
  • round all transactions to the nearest nickel
    • which will create the penny tax
  • What about Lincoln?
    • like re-assassinating Lincoln
    • shooting him in the head with a penny
  • has no plan to attack the $5 bill
  • kids will have nothing to stick up their noses
  • have nothing to toss off tall buildings to kill people
  • thinks Leave-a-Penny jars are "fabulous"
  • find a penny pick it up, all day you'll have good luck
    • has never heard it, hence not qualified
  • its survival is due to luck, because it's not worth shit (the zinc, not the dollar)
  • anti-penny lobby endorses Obama

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