Jean Girard
wakes up in the morning and pisses Perrier!
Jean Girard
est trop Français
veuillez l'éditer pour le rendre plus vrai dans les tripes
Jean Girard
makes The Baby Jesus sad.
Does your mother know you read these filthy liberal myths?
Not quite girlie, not quite man,
Jean Girard
is all Girlieman.

Jean Girard is a homosexual.

Jean Girard is a gay French NASCAR driver. He is a pussy. It is unknown whether or not he is a liberal, but since he's a pussy, he has to be. He is the rival of Real American and Hero Ricky Bobby. He enjoys sun-drenched walks with his beloved husband Gregory. Gregory is no stay-at-home spouse; he's a world-class trainer of German Shepherds! He and Gregory wish for only that which every other couple wishes for: to retire to Stockholm, and design a currency for dogs and cats to use.


  • Hakuna Matata, bitches!
  • By the way, Ricky, I watched the Highlander movie. It was SHIT!
  • And now, the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker!
  • You have spilled my macchiato.
  • [to Ricky] Tomorrow, you are going to get beaten. Beaten real bad, cowboy!
  • Well, what has America given the world, apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the Thighmaster?
  • [After breaking Ricky's arm] Your injury is one of ignorance and pride!
  • Ah, "Reecky Booby"! Now we shall dance...and yes, it will be a slow jam!
  • You must decide, "Reecky Booby". Is it foolish pride, or is it greatness for you?
  • My erection has nothing to do with you.
  • [on the Shake and Bake] What is that, is that a catchphrase or is it, uh, epilepsy?
  • It makes no sense! This "Shake and Bake", it's nonsense!
  • Where are you, "Reecky Booby"? Come face your destroyer!
  • [to Ricky] I am a racing car driver, just like you, except I am from Formula Un.
  • I am an associate of Ali G, Borat, and Bruno.

From deleted scenes Edit

  • My husband Gregory and I wish for that which every other couple wish for: to create a bed and breakfast in a volcano.

From unrated version Edit

  • My husband Gregory and I wish for that which every other couple wish for: to tame komodo dragons in Sri Lanka and teach them to perform Hamlet.
  • Where are you, "Reecky Booby"? Come face your destroyer! "Come face your destroyer"? Listen to how I sound. I sound like a massive prick!

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