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Jean-Luc Picard

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Captain Picard, seen here absolving all the sins of man.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the NCC-1701-D U.S.S. Enterprise is the greatest captain of the Starship Enterprise. He is bald. His favorite Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland is Earl Grey.

He's actually an admiral now: Admiral Jean-Luc Picard of the NCC-1701-E U.S.S. Enterprise. But "Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise" is much catchier.

It's French, Borg!Edit

Captain Picard claims to be French, but is actually English due to the Golbilization of the World. In the twenty-fourth century there are only two countries,USA!(consisting of North America,the Europe mainland, Upper, Middle, and Lower East, Asia, South America, and Antartica)* and its dependent protectorate of Great Britain (consisting of Great Britian.) His name is pronounced "John-Luke" and not "Jeen-Luck" for the same reason Stephen Colbert is not pronounced "Stephen Colber-t".

On His AssimilationEdit

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"Resistance is Futile, David Gregory, your journalistic distinctiveness will be added to our own."

He was once assimilated by a giant collective of mindless drones who cannot think for themselves and blindly follow doctrine known as Republicans. It was a horrible experiance that stayed with Jean-Luc until he died. While in the Republican Collective, he was renamed Tony Snow of Borg.










Famous QuotesEdit

  • "Tea, Earl Grey, Hot"
  • "Engage"
  • "Number One!"
  • "I have had it with these Mutha Fuckin' Borg on this Mutha Fucking Galaxy Class Starship!"
  • *Africa, in the future like today, does not exist, but if it did, it would totally be USA! all the way, baby.

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