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Jason Jones

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Jason Jones
is a correspondent for "The Daily Show"
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Jason Jones
is too Canadian, speak American, eh.
GirlieMan1
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Not quite girlie, not quite man,
Jason Jones
is all Girlieman.


Jason Jones is a professional beer salesman, who has worked for Budweiser and currently shills for Molson. In addition to being skilled at the art of homosexual dance seduction, he played a recurring character on Queer as Folk.

Despite the recorded evidence of his homosexuality, he has managed to breed with common whore-wife Samantha Bee. They have produced an accursed spawn christened "Piper Bee-Jones," who is frequently abused in Daily Show reports for the sake of yellow journalism. This child must be rescued from Bee and Jones, or it will surely die a soulless death.

At the moment he is currently seeking various methods of treatment for his gay-ness, at one point participating in Conservative Speed-dating with the help of scoring coach Joe Scarborough. If anyone can cure Jason, it's THAT guy.

For of his reports, he founds clips of Jon Stewart and Lewis Black insulting our President, followed by an edited clip making it look like Stephen Colbert thinks that George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein are similar. Everyone has Photoshop, guys!

Jason Jones is now also married to John Oliver. You really don't want to know what the children will look like.

At the 2008 Emmys, Jason Jones' extreme gayness attempted to overpower The Unquestionable Straightness of Stephen Colbert, as evidenced by several photos. Colbert placated the pathetic Jones by playing along, but later, we must assume, nothing super gay actually took place, as Stephen's heterosexuality is unshakable, like the Rock of Gibraltar or AIG.

FactoidsEdit

The only injury and incident that ever occurred to him was on his recent overseas trip to Tehran. He made a $50 bet with an NBC journalist that NBC didnt have the balls to stab him. Unfortunately for Jones NBC journalists, while pussies, they are underpaid and they barely eat with minimum wage and they would do anything for $50 bucks so they stabbed Jones 35 times. One of journalists shouted "Thats for what you did to Brian Williams, you Assh#le!", they left him for dead but Jason Jones was too much of a bad-ass to die that easily. After he returned to America he did unspeakable things to the NBC journalists and to Brian Williams... unspeakable things that cannot be released to the general public at the moment.

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