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Jason Altmire

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Jason Altmire
has been interviewed for The Colbert Report's
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That's offensive, Congressman.

Jason Altmire is the freshman Congressional Representative for Pennsylvania's 4th district, The Fightin' 4th!

He was interviewed for Part 38 of the 434 Part series Better Know A District on the January 24, 2007 edition of The Colbert Report.

Things Jason Used to Do Before Falling Under Nancy Pelosi's SpellEdit

Before getting elected to represent Pennsylvania's 4th district, Jason was a busy, busy boy.

He really had no political aspirations, so he attended Florida State University, go fire-proof crocodiles!

While in college, Jason played football so well he majored in political science eventually graduating in 1990.

After graduation, Jason served his nation proudly and with great honor as a lobbyist for the healthcare industry.

Jason Forced to Do Nancy Pelosi's Bidding To Steal Seat From The GOPEdit

MelissaJoanHart

Former representative of Pennsylvania's Fightin' 4th

Jason was able to defeat Melissa Hart, the chick from Sabrina, The Teenage Witch who represented the Amish constituents of the Fightin' 4th for 6 terms.

Jason refused to tell Dr. Colbert what the biggest negative smear he used against Rep. Hart was or which smear he would like to take back, possibly due to her more powerful witchcraft.

Obviously Rep. Hart's witchcraft is not as powerful as Nancy Pelosi's.

Jason's Support for The Greatest President Ever WaversEdit

While in office, Rep. Hart did the absolute best for her constituents, which just so happened to coincide with The Greatest President Ever! 98% of the time.

Jason however, has been under the spell of Nancy Pelosi, and whether he will do what is right for his constituents and vote 98% of the time with The Greatest President Ever is seriously in doubt.

Jason's Punishment for His However Brief Association with Nancy PelosiEdit

The Good Doctor was able to loosen the grip the liberals had on Jason by playing a little "football" with him.

Despite selling his soul to Nancy Pelosi, Stephen's resounding triumph opened Jason's eyes to the superiority of The Greatest President Ever, finally admitting the 'Mission' was indeed 'Accomplished' in Iraq!

Before Jason could celebrate the gift of Accomplishment, Stephen bestowed another more powerful gift on upon young Jason: the gift of a nailing.


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Jason Altmire
is a United States Representative
for the "Fightin' 4th" district of the state of Pennsylvania

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