James Jeffords
is a Traitor
And will soon feel the wrath of a vengeful Baby Jesus.
James Jeffords
was a United States Senator
for the state of Vermont, but has since "retired".

James Jeffords is the ultimate donkey in elephant's clothing: a man who, for years, posed as a godly Republican only to stab the Grand Ole Party in the back by becoming an Independent and, for six dark months, giving control of God's Congress to the Democrats. (Leading scholars believe he is in fact Joe Lieberman's evil, less douchey twin).

Jeffords IscariotEdit

In 2001, Jeffords took the GOP's ball and went home because he couldn't get with the program and kick the crippled people budget in the kneecap and force it to shape up. Just to rub it in, he pledged to vote with the Democrats from then on.

Welcome to hellEdit

Soon afterward, however, 9/11 reminded a grateful nation why they loved voting Republican, and Jeffords was soon on the business end of a serious nailing. He spent the last four years of his term cleaning the Senate latrines.

Singing SenatorsEdit

Throughout his tenure in the Senate, Jeffords was a member of The Singing Senators, rocking budget meetings and procedural vote counts from coast to coast. He was the John Lennon of the group, making the Independant Party its Yoko Ono. After the band's tumultuous breakup, he went on to a poorly received solo career as a professional cranky old man.

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