Baby Jesus
The Baby Jesus and The Baby Satan
are fighting over the very soul of
J.D. Salinger


J.D. Salinger
composed at least one non-audiobook book.

J.D. Salinger is the author of The Catcher in the Rye, and thus at fault for all of the assassinations of the last 30 years. Being a man who writes books, he is naturally a coward. This was demonstrated clearly on the April 30, 2008 episode of The Report, when Mr. Salinger was booked to appear but totally pussed out and didn't show. This prompted Stephen to initiate his Salinger Watch segment.

Granted, he is a recluse who has not been interviewed in 30 years, but nobody leaves Stephen hanging — NOBODY. This should be regarded as more evidence that all men of literature should be locked up. Unless, of course, Mr. Salinger decided to appear on the Report, in which case he might recieve a recommendation from Stephen's Book Club

Salinger has since hidden from America's media since 1965. He may drink his own urine.Episode #389

His non-appearance on the Greatest American Television Program Ever may be the fault of Stephen's guest booker, Emily.

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