It Could Be Worse

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It Could Be Worse
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.
It Could Be Worse
is just one of the many gifts the Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
has bestowed upon all of humankind. Thank you Dr. Colbert, thank you.

It Could Be Worse is Dr. Colbert's way of reassuring America that, despite what the liberal media is saying about our strong economy, things could be worse. And goes on to show how it's always worse in places that aren't America!

February 2, 2009 ReassuranceEdit


Iceland's New King


  • if you're looking for a good time, get on the first plane to Norway
    • Skyr is the traditional Icelandic soft cheese similar to yogurt, their major export
  • in October Iceland declared bankruptcy
    • zany hats on currency add confidence
  • officials mistook the protesting for Bjork's latest song
  • Iceland selects the world's first openly lesbian Prime Minister, Johanna Sigurdardottir (see photo at right)
  • Stephen Harper is an open lesbian
  • Iceland is broke and gay
    • and they have skyr

March 12, 2009 ReassuranceEdit


America is doing better than:

  • Russia
    • ruble has lost 1/3 it's value
    • Open nesting dolls find Russians living inside
  • Putin met day of dissent with "day of releasing wolves into crowds"
  • Ethiopia
    • Starbucks will delay opening of
  • Zimbabwe
    • saddled with corruption, inflation, cholera epidemic
    • celebrated Mugabe's birthday
  • America is not an emerging marking
    • America is a submerging market
  • if America is a Third World country, Dr. Colbert will have to wear a gourd on his penis (again)
    • or liking soccer
  • won't feel bad about keeping UNICEF money he's collected
  • former chief economist for the IMF, Simon Johnson
  • America's economy was run by oligarchs
  • in times of crisis some oligarchs get more powerful
  • Dr. Colbert is offended that he compared America's economy to an emerging market

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