Israeli Newspapers

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Please note: this item was once put On Notice,
but was removed on December 10, 2008,
a day of forgiveness declared by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
Israeli Newspapers
Belongs to The Vast Left-Wing Media Conspiracy

A general definition for newspapers that print the least important stories on the front page, with the major ones on the back.

Israeli Newspapers were first discovered in 1967 in Israel. The Arabs were angered that stories about them weren't at the very front, so they prepared to attack Israel in order to make it so. Israel attacked first and won the war not only militarily, but by refusing to remove the golf tournament coverage from the front page.

Israeli newspapers soon spread to Brazil, Israel's closest ally. Soon, Brazil exported them to the United States. To stop the plague, newspapers everywhere went into quarantine mode, except for The New York Times. Today, the Times runs stories attacking our president on the front, giving the illusion that it is real news.

Israeli newspapers are notoriously cheap. They have big noses and all go to the movies and eat Chinese on Christmas day. They are also all part of a worldwide cabal to usurp all other newspapers on the planet. Once they have accomplished their mission every newspaper in the world will have a cartoon in it depicting prophet Muhammad with a bomb for a turban.

Currently On Notice. May one day be Dead To Stephen if they keep pushing it...

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