Iraq Tourism and Antiquities Ministry

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Iraq Tourism and Antiquities Ministry
is something Middle-eastern,
which may or may not be very explosive.

The Iraq Tourism and Antiquities Ministry is now open for business. Come visit modern Mesopotamia for a steal!



Travel To And From IraqEdit

Americans will be supplied with a private aircraft carrier, similar to the one The Greatest President Ever captained when he declared the end to major combat operations, for their trip to and from Iraq.

Amenities In IraqEdit

  • room in the Green Zone
  • personal Blackhawk escorts
  • indoor plumbing
  • air conditioning
  • American fast food

Tours AvailableEdit

Green Zone HighlightsEdit

Things To DoEdit

  • pull down a replica Saddam Hussein statue
  • blow up the Golden Mosque (not a replica)
  • visit the only working air conditioner
  • take electrifying showers!
  • you will receive a pamphlet showing the entire membership of the COW
  • pee in the Tigris or Euphrates River (or both for a fee!)

Places To VisitEdit

  • U.S. Embassy Complex
  • The L. Paul Bremer Art Exhibit
  • The General David Petreaus Underground Freedom Bunker

Sunni Triangle Highlights (includes Baghdad)Edit

Things To DoEdit

Places To VisitEdit


A tribute to The Greatest President Ever's father in mosaic on the floor of the Al-Rashid Hotel!

  • Tikrit
  • Samarra
  • Fallujah
  • Greater Baghdad, which includes:
    • Ramadi
    • Sadr City
    • the Al-Rashid Hotel
    • the John McCain Shopping Bazaar
    • and the Abu Ghraib Prison Experience
      • featuring The Blackwater-Halliburton Electric Golden Waterboarding Palace

Hinterland HighlightsEdit

The Iraq Ministry of Tourism offers several tour packages of the hinterlands of Iraq:

Northern IraqEdit

Things To DoEdit

Places To VisitEdit

  • Mosul
  • Kirkuk
  • Tal Afar

Western Iraq (Anbar Province)Edit

Things To DoEdit

Places To VisitEdit

  • Haditha
  • Karbala

Southern IraqEdit

Things To DoEdit

Places To VisitEdit

  • Basra
  • Najaf
  • Babylon

Oh No!
Iraq Tourism and Antiquities Ministry
needs help fast!
Quick! Someone call the cavalry!

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