The correct title of this article is iPod. The initial letter is shown capitalized because it scares away Bears.
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. has placed
on The Colbert Report's Shelves of Honor
If you don't already have an
your parents never loved you!

The iPod is a music device built and sold by Apple Computer. It runs on magic and it has the capacity to store exactly 52 gazillion trillion billion songs. Among its other innovative features are the ability to steal music from struggling multinational corporations and The Internets. Stephen Colbert is, as yet, decided about iPods. He was seen sawing an iPod in half on the cover of Wired Magazine, but he was also seen listening to one on The Colbert Report. (Steve Jobs has not yet signed an endorsement deal.)

In April 2009, Barack Hussein Obama gave Queen Elizabeth II an iPod as part of his fiscally irresponsible European vacay. Every millionaire shock jock average American was shocked — SHOCKED! — that Obama would waste tax payer dollars on such an extravagance, especially when that money could disappear go to good use in Iraq or build bridges to connect us to that undiscovered paradise, Nowhere.

- WiredCover

People Who Don't Own An iPodEdit

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

Baby Jesus
The Baby Jesus and The Baby Satan
are fighting over the very soul of

External SourcesEdit

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