Hurricane Katrina

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Like Iraq, this page is UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
And also, like Iraq, may always be under construction.
Thank you for your patience, and children.
This article contains information about an upcoming or ongoing Catastrophuck in the United States.
Content may change dramatically as the debacle unfolds.
Quote open clear3 "We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did." Quote close clear2
~Rep. Richard Baker (R-LA)

Katrina was a natural disaster which took our nation by storm, destroying much of the Gulf Coast, and almost totally destroying New Orleans and its surrounding cities or parishes or whatever those illiterate poverty stricken, french speaking darkies call their towns.

DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

...that Hurricanke Katrina is a Democrat? Is true, according with Stephen Colbert, Fox News declared Katrina a Democrat, therefore is true!

How Katrina Helped AmericaEdit

Katrina also provided high paying jobs, and kicked off a new era in our guest worker program.

Another up shot to Katrina was that the dilapidated Gulf Coast which was, prior to Katrina, overrun with filth and pestilence the likes of which America has not seen since The Great Pestilence Overrunning of 19 ought 2.

Standout Tools That Were Instrumental In Helping AmericaEdit

Why US? Edit

Scholars, religious leaders, and political pundits have pondered the question of exactly why Katrina struck New Orleans. As all decent, freedom-loving Americans know, Hurricane Katrina was sent by God to punish New Orleans for its many indecent, Satan-loving anti-family values. Various reasons have been given for Katrina, though the most popular reasons include:

  • Katrina was God's punishment for abortion.
  • Katrina was God's punishment for homosexuality.
  • Katrina was God's punishment for the evacuation of Gaza by Israel.
  • Katrina was God's punishment for the violence inflicted on Iraq by America, in the name of Jesus.
  • Katrina was God's punishment for rampant child perversion by liberals in America.
  • Katrina was God's punishment because nobody had the decency to gouge out the eyes of all fanatics who make stuff up and attribute it to God.
  • Katrina was a culmination of 30 years of research by secret US Government weather control weapons projects.
  • Katrina was the result of a weather condition that developed from a tropical depression forming in the Gulf of Mexico.

The last argument on that list is completely laughable, and no one takes that one seriously. Except the Meteorologists

The aftermath Edit

Katrina's destruction has also benefited America by providing 1, maybe 2 Senatorial seats for The Greatest President's party, The Republicans. These seats would have surely been filled by liberal poop-stompers had Katrina not hit.

Another windfall of Katrina, comes in the form of vast amounts of cheap property available to literally anyone with more than 10 dollars to spare. Hurry up Nation, these lots won't last long, so take advantage quickly. Imagine, Americans have been given another great frontier on which to claim land that's there for the taking. Only this time we won't have boat loads of Irish, bringing with them plague and alcoholism.

The real truthiness of this matter is that hundreds of poor or destitute people were left homeless when they refused to evacuate even though FEMA had foreseen this disaster and had buses waiting weeks prior to the Hurricane. It's their fault Nation. These career criminals refused to leave solely for the great looting opportunities available in the disaster's wake. Another contingent of drug addicted crack whores did not leave because they would be unable to get blitzed off the rock were they to leave. And yet another segment refused to turn over their generous government subsidies in return for gasoline which they would in turn use to propel their ghetto fabulous Cadillacs.

The last and widely considered as the best benefit to come from Katrina's rezoning of New Orleans was the environment in which they spent their time away from their dreadful homes. As Barbara Bush, wife of the father of The Greatest President put it, "These folks have it pretty good here."

The bottom line here is that poor people who refuse to yank themselves out of this self imposed condition are hated by Our Lord God. When the reckoning came in the form of a giant hurricane, these people were fated to stay behind to absorb the brunt of God's anger. Everyone knows that God hates the French.

See AlsoEdit

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