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Hello, Kitty
Hello, Hula
Asian and very good at math.
Despite what you may have heard
Is totally not gay!

Native Hawaiians dance the dance of the goddess, Hula!

Hula is the national dance of the exotic island nation of Hawaii and contains many ritualized elements that the restless natives used in lieu of verbal communication!

Origin & HistoryEdit

After the Great Flood, God placed one race of natives on a volcano in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

How To Dance The HulaEdit


Caption does not encourage any Satanic activities, but we must allow for the compilation of these abominations to inform Americans about the various spectacles which they should fear.

This section will outline in great and exacting detail how the brown-skinneded, naked island heathens perform the hula.

Basic VariationsEdit

The hula can be performed alone or in large groups around the rotting carcass of a recently sacrificed pig.

Clothing Options & AccessoriesEdit

  • ideas: grass skirt, necklace of flowers (lei), crown of thorn-less flowers, conch shell, tiki idol, surf board, bong

Moving One's ArmsEdit

Moving One's PelvisEdit

Selling One's Soul To Satan & Rejecting ChristEdit

Famous People Who Have Danced The HulaEdit

Hula FactsEdit

See AlsoEdit

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