Hot Dog

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A grilled hot dog with mustard

A hot dog, also known as a hotdog, is an all-American food only truly enjoyed by worthy Americans who observe the ways of truthiness. America invented the hot dog when a family of raccoons got lost in a toothpaste factory. Those who claim that hot dogs are "unhealthy" or "made of pig intestines" are either gay, vegetarian, liberal, or terrorists. Terrorists hate hot dogs. Gays use the hot dog in inappropriate ways. Vegetarians blaspheme against the hot dog. Liberals are just bad so their opinion on the hot dog doesn't matter.

Presidential Hot Dog Lunch Edit

The greatest honor anyone can ever have is to have presidential lunch with the greatest president ever over dish of all-American all-beef hot dogs.

Hot Dog TriviaEdit


A typical hot dog for Hillary Clinton

  • When you eat hot dogs, you also eat insects!Episode #354
  • Our own Stephen Colbert holds the America's Planet Record for most hot dogs consumed in 10 minutes. He ate 112½ hot dogs.
  • When buying Canadian Hot Dog, be sure to check its ingredients. Canada has not outlawed dog meat. In 2003, the health inspector said that it is not illegal to sell and eat the meat of canine as long as the meat has been inspected. The meat is usually from the Husky or other arctic breeds and the practice of eating them dates back to time of the natives.

The Cornholist Reception of Hot DogsEdit


Here's an expert in vegan skulls at The Center For Advanced Cornhole Studies.

Cornholists have always had a peculiar fondness for, to say nothing of a perverse love affair with, hot dogs. (They're also fond of cigars, pretzel rods and bananas.) But when the final cornholer of cornholism's proud history, our blessed and worhispful Stephen Colbert, revealed that Robert Cornhole was the founder of America, there was the first recorded hot-dog shortage in American history. The growth of Rush Limbaugh's head, for one, is evidence that hotdogs were being ingested in multiple orifices at the time. And Lou Dobbs called the hotdog shortage "a dark time for America." Real Americans, though they were too strong to be afraid, had grave doubts for the future of baseball, grills, public parks, carnivals and corndogs. In short, because they are real Americans, cornholists were willing to take up arms to make sure there was enough meat to fuel the business. But thankfully our agricultural research team at The Center for Advanced Cornhole Studies in Atlanta, Georgia have slaughtered enough livestock, aborted enough fetuses and circumcised enough penises to at least keep cornholists well-fed, manly, courageous and American until the hour of cornholistry dawns. Even if the hot-dog crisis ends, cornholists are encouraged to continue with the abortions and circumcisions in the interest of freedom and piety. Vegans, gay people and intellectuals, it has been noted, are also fair game.

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