ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.


Call Reverend Dr. House if you start feeling symptoms from eating non-Honeydew melons.


Those are some nice melons you got there.

The American Honeydew Melon is more melon-y and tastier than the cantaloupe, watermelon, or any other pussy melon. According to Stephen Colbert, "If honeydew is ripe, I think it's the king of all melons." Eating any other melon besides honeydew usually causes gayness, tree-hugging, Communistic tendencies, and flag burning. If you accidently injest a melon that you mistake for honeydew, call a doctor or preacher immediately.

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