Oh No!
needs help fast!
Quick! Someone call the cavalry!

If you don't already have a
your parents never loved you!


A home (or house) is a property which is owned by a bank and for which workers pay rent in order to have a place to sleep between jobs, drinking binges and jail.

Part Of The American DreamEdit

A home is the essential component of the American Dream. Every young man dreams of owning his own home (or castle) complete with a two-car garage. He dreams of returning to the bosom of his home and his loving family ready to tend to his every needs.

The children will be watching the TV, while eating their before-dinner snack, while the wife will be in the kitchen preparing the dinner. Or, if she has been sufficiently trained, the dinner will be moments from being served just as daddy comes home from working all day.

Who Can Own A HomeEdit

Before the market corrections, mostly anyone could get a home, even illegal immigrants, through lax restrictions on the distribution of home loans (also known as sub-prime loans). Thanks to the credit adjustments in the free markets, those undeserving of a house are now realizing that America can't handle so many losers owning property.

Who Is Allowed To Own More Than One HomeEdit

A Homeowner's Best Friend: The Homeowners' Association!Edit

How Homes Came To BeEdit

Various Architectural StylesEdit

Activities Commonly Performed Inside The HomeEdit

Activities Commonly Performed Outside The Home, While Still On The PropertyEdit

Rooms Commonly Found Inside A HomeEdit

What Can Be Found Outside The HomeEdit

Luxuries, Devices Or Appliances That Fill Up The HomeEdit

  • a television: black and white only.
  • a microwave
  • a computer: an old Macintosh, and not the good one.
  • Carpet: a blue industrial office carpet that all manner of unspeakable things had been spilled on since the 1960s.

Utilities Forced Into, Or Sucked Out Of The Home By The Overly-intrusive City Or County GovernmentEdit

External TubesEdit

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