Holy Grail

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God Touching Adam
"Holy Grail"
is Most Beloved by God over all His creations
Now and Forever, Amen.

The Holy Grail is the cup Jesus Christ wore in Game 7 of the 1 B.C. World Series between the Jerusalem Romans and the Jerusalem Jews baseball clubs.

The Holy Grail was designed to protect Jesus' genitals from impact.



Modern cups do not have the same spirituality as The Holy Grail.

The Holy Grail was made from ram's horn, sinew and thistles. Seamstress Mary Magdalene sewed it upon hearing that Jesus would be catching for the Jews' Game 7 starting pitcher Judas.

Use in Game 7Edit

Mary Magdalene begged Jesus to wear The Grail, and he consented to do so. The Grail came in handy as many of Judas' pitches were either low or in the dirt, often bouncing directly into Jesus' crotchal area.

In the famous 'Pilate at the Plate' play which decided the game, Romans designated hitter Pilate slid into Jesus, attempting to spike him in the nuts, and thus score the winning run. The Grail worked perfectly and deflected the blow, but the Temple Jew umpire, who had been paid 30 pieces of silver, called Pilate safe anyway. The game was lost, but Jesus' balls were saved. Although Luke Skywalker thought otherwise. Soon after he came down to earth to smack the Jew umpire with his light saber; which almost worked but the umpire used his kamahamaha wave and killed the hell out of Luke Skywalker. Using a teleportation device lil wayne came to Luke Skywalker's rescue. Eventhough he was late he decided to get revenge on the umpire. To help him Jesus through the holy grail to him. Jesus could have easily defeated the umpire but was to pissed off about the game. With the holy grail lil wayne was able to beat the umpire, becasue the umpire's super nut shoot technique was blocked. Lil wayne soon sang prom night and exploded the umpire's ears; which lead to internal bleeding. When all was done Jesus granted lil wayne one wish and with this wish lil wayne recieved gutiar lessons because he sucked so bad at it, and everyone lived happily ever after.

As the Jerusalem Times so aptly put it, "He chose wisely."


See AlsoEdit

The Knights Templar

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