This city was formerly known as Canton, OhioEpisode #470

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U R Here
Hitler's Asscrack, Ohio
is a Recognized City of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.
Hitler's Asscrack, Ohio
Mayor: Jim Tressel

Das Hakenkreuz gehört dem fuhrer

The swastika belongs to the fuhrer

Theme Song: Hail to the Hitler
Population: Ohio State people
Standard MPH: As fast as the jews can get away
Principal industries: Heat
Fun Fact # 1: The city smells like a gigantic ass crack
Fun Fact # 2: Satin loves this place as a recreational retreat, when he is tired of living in Canada

Hitler's Asscrack, Ohio HistoryEdit

This city was founded in 1939, after members of the third reich decided to have lunch in Canton. This then became the worst town in the history of everything in the universe. It was already pretty bad considering Ohio State University was around there somewhere. Then bears moved in and took all of the jobs from Americans.

Hitler's Asscrack, Ohio TodayEdit

Today, "Canton's" economy is ruled by bears. Not just any bears, Black Bears. These bears run in gangs, much like the gangs of what used to be Detroit, Michigan untill Detroit was killed by RoboCop.

If you're going to live there, here's a hint. The bears listen to anyone who looks like der Fuhrer. So grow a mustache and protect yourself. Approx. 250,000 people are killed every year because they bear the color scarlet red. This aggrivates the bears. DON'T DO IT!! Most of them being Ohio State fans. They also hate the color green because their city is mostly grey from concrete, and brown from pollution. So about 150,000 Michigan State fans are killed every year.

However, they love the colors Navy Blue and Maize. Well, they don't so much love them as they fear them and their superiorness. They know, any true fans wearing these colors could kill them with one look. They don't know who the true fans are, so they take no chances.

Popular Ethnic Neighborhoods In Hitler's Asscrack, OhioEdit

Surprisingly, there has been a recent drop in the Jewish population in Hitler's Asscrack, Ohio.

Canadians are currently invading the town and taking out all of the bears. The bears are going, but we didn't really trade up because of the Canadians.

Hitler's Asscrack, Ohio LandmarksEdit

  • Statues of bears.
  • Monuments to Hitler.
  • Monuments to the baby Hitler.
  • Statues of Satan.
  • Wanted posters of people in Navy Blue and Maize. (This is due to fear of the superiorness. They fear that their safety is in danger because they are in such a vile place. They do not know, however, that their superiorness is what keeps them alive there.)

Famous People From Hitler's Asscrack, OhioEdit

A Typical Day In Hitler's Asscrack, OhioEdit

Strange Laws in Hitler's Asscrack, OhioEdit

You can't wear pants in your house after midnight.

If you decide to grow a mustache, it cannot exceed beyond the edges of your nose.

You can't roller skate in the street other than to cross it...Hitler hated roller skates, no word on roller blades though.

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