Fandom

Wikiality

HitStalinator

12,424pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Tubes
HitStalinator
started out as a good idea
but has descended into a HORRIBLE, SHAMEFUL MESS
It desperately needs someone who understands truthiness to edit it.


The HitStalinator is a robot under construction by Michael Moore and Ned Lamont. It contains the DNA of Hitler and Stalin. Not much is known about this but we do know that it takes 3 AAA batteries and will be available at Commies-R-Us on Dec 7th, the evilest day EVER.

This is the first invention marketed under Michael Moore's Fattie McFat Fat Toys, Inc.


Michael Moore HitStalinator Press Release Edit

The following text is taken from a Fattie McFat Fat Toy, Inc. press release regarding the HitStalinator, and was the first instance of a person literally biting a reporter's head off since Bill Clinton's Man-Period-induced rampage on Fox News.

Michael Moore: "Members of the press, thank you all for coming out today. Fattie McFat Fat Toy Incorporated and all of it's shareholders, from mister Satan to mister Senator HugeMcfuckinggrizzlybear thank you for taking the time."

(Moore reaches into front pocket of filthy sweat-stained tee shirt and cigar case from which he removes a fried twinkie. He places it into his mouth and nibbles thoughtfully.)

"Now up until now, we have had to keep details about the HitStalinator pretty well under wraps, well now-"

(Moore coughs violently, eventually spitting out a large gob of what appears to be a baby.)

"Excuse me. Well anyway, let's get this thing started. First question, yes you."

(Points to a female reporter near the back.)

Female Reporter: "Yes, Mr. Moore. Bethany Dylan of the Godless Gazette, do you think that this invention will revolutionize humanity as we know it?"

"Moore: Well, it's hard to say. Or main goal with the HSI is to destroy all of the republicans in the house and senate, which is why we equipped it with chain guns and a super Dean-Sonic cannon. This releases a piercing scream which destroys the logic portions in the victim's brain, rendering them utterly unfit to fulfill their position as politicians. One of our researchers pointed out that this might make them even more fit for the job, so we opted to throw in a rocket launcher too."

(Moore suffers a small heart attack, but after a bit of quick paddle zapping, he gets back up to continue the conference.)

"Alright next question. Yes you the nerdy one in the front here."

Nerdy One: "Yes, Dylan Dylan of the Blogosphere Times....this is a work in progress, I will finish this transcript at a later date..."

Stephen's reaction Edit

After hearing about this bullcrap, Stephen immediately had to run into the room, screamed "Nex ut Moore's commiebot" and proceeded to shoot the thing repeatedly with an assault rifle. Michael Moore, upon recognizing Stephen, had to run away from his truthiness (see the demon that lives in Michael Moore's belly. Another catastrophe averted by the powers of Stephen T. Colbert.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki