Hippie Jesus (also known as Jesus Hussein Christ) is a figment of the liberal imagination. Jesus was not nor will he ever be a long haired, sandal wearing, Jewish peacenik with radical ideas that upset the establishment.
The Legend of Hippie JesusEdit
The Legend of Hippie Jesus started when some loser said out loud "hey maybe we should try this 'turn the other cheek thing' and smoke some weed!" Since then, the followers of this heretical sect have popped up in almost every branch of Christianity (even in the Vatican!)
Eye witless accountEdit
|Hippie Jesus for Supreme Court Justice could hurt America|
Jesus is a Stoner. Honestly, don't tell me that from one look, the dude isn't a Hippie who's always high on something. He knows what the best weed is, grows his own and knows not to touch heroin, because that's bad- M'kay?
Jesus Hussein Christ: Liberal DemocratEdit
Jesus H. Christ (or Hussein Christ) is a figment of the democrats' imagination. According with the Hippie Bible, Hussein Christ believes that we should give free money to lazy welfare queens and bankrupt the Nation's coffers to save the poor.
"Now what I like best about Bill [O'Reilly]'s argument is its complete factual inaccuracy. Because it would be inconvenient to guys like us to repeat what Jesus actually said. For instance, if someone wants your coat, give them your cloak as well. Rich people should sell all their possessions and give the money to the poor. Plus, the fact is, Jesus was way beyond self-destructive... he was self-sacrificial. I mean, the guy is God. He could have floated off that cross like Criss Angel Mindfreak. And I love, I love how Bill closes with "The Lord helps those who help themselves," kind of implying that Jesus said that, when it was actually Ben Franklin, who I believe belched out that proverb between mouthfuls of French whore." [...]
"It's time to take baby Jesus out of the manger. Replace him with something that's easier to swallow. How about a honey-baked ham? Because if this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we've got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition... and then admit that we just don't want to do it." -- Stephen Colbert
His numbers growEdit
The following are followers of this cultEdit
|Hippie Jesus: Behind The Bible|
- Desmond Tutu, former Anglican Archbishop of South Africa
- Tim Ryan U.S. congressman
- Walt Brown, ex-Oregon state Senator, Socialist Party USA
- William Jennings Bryan Three Time Presidential nominee.
- Jimmy Carter, humanitarian and former President
- Robert Casey, former Pennsylvania governor
- Nick Clooney Roman Catholic activist/Congressional candidate
- Diane Drufenbrock, nun, Socialist Party USA
- John Edwards, Former United States Senator and past Presidential candidate
- Al Gore, Former Vice President of the United States and activist
- Thomas J. Hagerty, founding member of IWW
- Ammon Hennacy, Wobbly
- Hubert Humphrey, Former Vice President of the United States
- Jesse Jackson, politician and civil rights leader
- John Lewis, U.S. congressman and civil rights leader
- Barack Obama, junior senator from Illinois, and current presidential candidate
- George McGovern Methodist, former Senator for South Dakota and Democratic nominee for the Presidency
- Walter Mondale, Former Vice President of the United States
- Brian P. Moore, Socialist Party USA
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt, President
- Norman Thomas, Socialist Party of America presidential candidate
- Gaberiel K. Ross, City Council Member, Johnstown, PA, Social Democratic Party of America
- Al Sharpton, 2004 Democratic presidential candidate and civil rights leader
- Harry Truman, President
- Robert Drinan, Congressman and priest in the One true Church.
- Frank P. Zeidler, ex-Mayor of Milwaukee, Socialist Party USA
- Frank Ford (farmer)
Leaders a/o activists (civil)Edit
- Rosey Grier
- Joseph Cardinal Bernardin Bishop
- Tony Campolo, Baptist evangelist and sociologist
- William Sloane Coffin, Jr., UCC minister and peace activist
- Daniel Berrigan, Catholic priest & peace activist
- Kim Bobo, founder, Interfaith Worker Justice
Stephen Colbert, host of The Colbert Report and Sunday School Teacher
- John Cort, writer, editor for Commonweal, Peacework, Religious Socialism
- Jerome Davis, labor organizer and sociologist
- Dorothy Day, Catholic Worker Movement cofounder, Wobbly
- James A. Forbes, minister at Riverside Church
- Tom Gabel, Anarcho-Catholic and Punk Rock Icon
- Jeannine Gramick, Roman Catholic nun and founder of New Ways Ministry
- Thomas Gumbleton, Roman Catholic bishop of Detroit and social activist
- Coretta Scott King, civil rights activist and wife of Martin Luther King, Jr.
- Martin Luther King, Jr. - Nobel Prize winning civil-rights activist.
- Rev. Joseph Lowery Civil Rights Leader who humiliated GW Bush.
- Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State
- Pauli Murray, first female Episcopal minister and co-founder of the National Organization for Women
- Mike Papantonio
- Charles Owen Rice, Catholic priest, labor leader, and civil rights activist
- Frank Schaeffer
- Katherine Jefferts Schori, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church
- Jim Wallis, editor of Sojourners Magazine
- Shane C 
- Barry Welsh Congressional Candidate and Minister (United Methodist Church)
- Jeremiah Wright crazy pastor of the Trinity United Church of Christ and Barack Obama's terrorist mentor
- Cindy Sheehan, peace activist.
- Rev. Lennox Yearwood Veteran and anti-Iraq War Activist
- Philip Berrigan, anti-war activist
- Rev. Robert Drinan, - former U.S. Congressman from Massachusetts
- Leonardo Boff, Liberation Theology activist ()
- César Chávez Mexican American labor and social activist
- Karl Keating - Catholic writer and apologist who created Catholic Answers
- Charles Kekumano - activist Hawaiian priest
- Angelo Liteky - former priest, soldier, activist
- Georges Pire - "Peace University" and Nobel Peace Prize for work with refugees 
- Mitch Snyder, - convert; advocate for the homeless
- Rev. George Foreman
- Rev Richard Penniman AKA Little Richard
- Peter Boyle actor, studied to be a Priest.
- Martin Sheen Roman Catholic activist/actor.
- Carmen Trotta Roman Catholic pacifist
- Peter Agre, awarded the Nobel Prize for Chemistry 
- Chris Hedges
- Stanley Hauerwas, theologian and ethicist
- Anne Lamott, author
- Brian McLaren, Emerging Church Leader
- Troy Perry, founder of Metropolitan Community Church
- Walter Rauschenbusch, social gospel thinker
- Anthony Paul Kennedy Shriver Son of Sargent Shriver member of the Kennedy family holds a Degree in Theology.
- John Shelby Spong, retired bishop and liberal political activist
- Kathleen Kennedy Townsend A Kennedy.
- Cornel West, theologian, academic, activist
- Jim Winkler leading member of the United Methodist Church
- Obama nominates Hippie Jesus for the Supreme Court -- Republicans announce Filibuster
- Hippie Jesus support socialist medicine
- Hippie Jesus demands more love
- Hippie Jesus loves us all