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Hibernation is a satanic tradition practised by evil Bears. The Bears claim that hibernation is where they gather information on human pop-culture, so that one day, They may rule the world once more, creating the Three thousand, six hundreth and eleventh (3611) sign of the apocalypse. However, any decent and true American knows that Bears, despite being evil and satanic, do not have the power to accomplish this. In reality, Hibernation is when all Bears around the world hide themselves due to lack of human prey (except for in Canada) and to avoid meeting the wrath of Stephen Colbert or the other great American bear-hunting heroes. The reason why the heroes do not destroy the Bears when they are not hibernating is because a lot of stupid hippies tend to walk into the homes of Bears because hippies enjoy being torn apart into a bloody mess and eaten. God finds it amusing to see hippies get eaten and has declared that the Bears should not be harmed during hippie season.
Hibernation usually lasts from December 21 to March 21 which is known as winter in America and summer in backward terrorist nations such as Peru.