Heterosexual Rebirth is a God-tested, Jesus-approved method used by otherwise righteous, God-fearing conservative men who have strayed from the fold
of the labia and escape the pernicious claws of the homosexual agenda whenever they get caught they are ready to change. By accepting God endorsement deals into their lives, these poor souls can abandon the life of sin and homosexual debauchery they were leading and denouncing at the same time.
The best thing about the program? It works as a business model. That's right, you too can be completely heterosexual in nine easy installments of $19.95! You can save your soul and the economy at the same time! So c'mon guys, call 1-900-IMNOTGAY and kick those nasty thoughts!
Our headquarters are located right next to Gold's Gym and Plato's Retreat.