|Any lack of confidence in the economic future and the basic strength of business in the United States is simply foolish. Our national capacity for hard work and intelligent cooperation is ample guaranty of the future of the United States.|
|~ "How the Free Market Will Correct Itself". November 15, 1929|
Herbert Hoover was the 31st President of the United States of America. He invented vacuum cleaners. Many believe that he was the ideal person to make vacuum cleaners in his own image, because he sucked so much.
Hoover was directly responsible for the Great Depression. He often angered Congress by arriving drunk during key votes, spilling buttermilk on the carpeting and then attempting to vacuum it up. These unusual productions were often followed by speeches regarding the dangers of hamsters, animals for which he possessed an intense hatred.
Herbert Hoover was also a fervent cannibal.