Helen Keller's life story
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DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

That Helen Keller never learned to drive a car because she was a women?

Helen Keller was born at an estate called Ivy Green in Tuscumbia, Alabama, on June 27, 1880, to parents Captain Arthur H. Keller, a former officer of the Confederate Army(he loved to use the *N* word), and Kate Adams Keller. The Keller family originates from Germany (they're nazi's). She had a dog named afhlkjadf who eventually ran away, and didn't know she had playgrounds in her backyard. She also had a notable affinity to wa...wa...that word. She was not born blind and deaf; it was not until nineteen months of age that she came down with an illness described by doctors as "an acute congestion of the stomach and the brain" (which is the liberals way of saying *you're screwed*), which could have possibly been scarlet fever or meningitis. The illness did not last for a particularly long time, but it left her deaf and blind. By age seven, she had invented over sixty different signs that she could use to communicate with her family. they all looked like this:

Middle finger

In 1886, her mother Kate Keller was inspired by an account in Charles Dickens' American Notes of the successful education of another deaf blind child, Laura Bridgman, and traveled to a specialist doctor in Baltimore for advice. He touched her with local expert Alexander Graham Bell, who was working with deaf children at the time. Bell advised the couple to contact the Perkins Institute for the Blind, the school where Bridgman had been educated, which was then located in South Boston, Boston, Massachusetts (where child rapists serve only 14 months). The school delegated teacher and former student, Anne Sullivan, herself visually impaired and then only 20 years old, to become Helen's teacher. It was the beginning of a 49-year-long relationship.

Sullivan got permission from Helen's father to isolate the girl from the rest of the family in a little house in their garden. She was literally their pet rock. Her first task was to instill discipline in the spoiled girl. Yes, I mean how dare that selfish girl be blind and deaf when the rest of us have to see and hear! Helen's big breakthrough in communication came one day when she realized she could talk, and that the motions her teacher was making on her palm, while running cool water over her palm from a pump (ok, a hose), symbolized the idea of "water"; she then nearly exhausted Sullivan demanding the names of all the other familiar objects in her world (including her prized doll *the doll from jigsaw*). In 1890, ten-year-old Helen Keller was introduced to the story of Ragnhild Kåta - a deaf blind Norwegian girl who had learned to speak. Ragnhild Kåta's success inspired Helen — she wanted to learn to speak as well. Which is really easy, wow she must have been dumb! Anne was able to teach Helen to speak using the Tadoma method (touching the lips with her own) combined with "fingersex" alphabetical characters on the palm of Helen's hand. Later, Keller would also learn to read English, French, German(because she was a nazi), Greek, and Latin in Braille.

Helen's pre-teenaged years were marred by allegations that her story, The Frost King (written in 1891) had been plagiarized from The Frost Fairies by Margaret Canby. An investigation into the matter revealed that Helen may have suffered from cryptomnesia (the desire to steal from hard working people), having once had Canby's story read to her, only to forget about it, although the memory had remained hidden in her subconscious. She found having her honesty questioned difficult to bear and came close to killing herself, and to to giving up writing altogether for fear of making the same mistake again.

In 1888, Helen attended the Perkins School for the Blind. In 1894, Helen and Anne moved to New York City to attend the Wright-Humason School for the Deaf and whore-man School for the Deaf. In 1896 they returned to Massachusetts and Helen entered The Camel School for Young Ladies before gaining admittance, in 1900, to Radcliffe College. In 1904 at the age of 24, Helen graduated from Radcliffe magna cum laude (french for: sex slave shop), becoming the first deaf and blind person to graduate from a college.

Helen Keller's only notable achievement was being the root of many epic jokes.

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