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Hand of God

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Hand of God was a Wikiality.com Featured Word on 03/15/07.
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"Hand of God"
is a part of Wikiality.com's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.
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HandOfGod

The Hand of God pointing to the limp-wristed hand of man

HandOfGod smiting

The Hand of God smiting the limp-wristed hand of man


The Hand of God is what God uses to smite people. God uses His hand to reach down and slap people around when they deserve it. Sometimes God uses a tool to smite man. Nuns are the tools of God. Priests have their own tools for smiting. Sometimes God sends other people to do His smiting for Him. These people may also be considered the hand of God. Sometimes, people just appoint themselves to be the hand of God. When this happens, the rest of us have not choice but to put our lives in God's hands.

The Hand of God is sometimes used for the pleasuring of His needs and those of deceased nuns, but has also been known to be balled to a fist and cause unbearable agony to the nuns who disturb him while he is handling the "Holy Private Parts of Holiness". After their punishment, God sends them hither, limping and moaning as they are. It is said God's hand undergoes weekly manicure at the White House, but this is not yet confirmed. (And thus belongs to the grand whole of Truthiality) It is, however, confirmed the Hand of God caused a obscure, talentless football player who looks like a mexican to make a goal, overrating him from now to the End of Times.

According to Stephen Colbert, God is right-handed.


FunnyClouds

The Finger of God

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