Don't Fake the Funk!
Rush says Guitar
is shamelessly boogie-worthy.

Excuse me? Did you reach this page by mistake? If you are looking for the page on Gods greatest instrument, please go to the page for Banjo.

The guitar is an American musical instrument, commonly found in both acoustic and electrical varieties. Examples of the former radiate a powerful hallucinogenic glamour known to disable balls and encourage individuals to vote for Ralph Nader. The electric guitar is known to induce excessive glitter sweat--a body humour known to influence head seizures and soften hair texture.

The guitar was invented by Ted Nugent back in the year 4. He sought for a better way to drive away bears, and the loud electrical instrument was perfect. Years later, hippies invented the acoustic (pussy) guitar, so they could listen to Ani DiFranco, and cry about animal testing.

Stephen Colbert, the best guitarist ever, usually needs a guitar with 5 or more heads, being he usually burns through at least 4 because he shreds so fast.

Parts of a GuitarEdit

  • neck
  • fret bar
  • hole
  • whammy bar
  • f-hole
  • Knobs
  • Killswitch

Nicknames for Guitar PlayersEdit

  • axe man
  • shredder
  • that dude who plays that thing that makes that sound with that thing

Famous guitar playersEdit

  • Stephen Colbert
  • Eddie Van Halen
  • that one chick from that one band

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