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Grits are a Southern traditional foodstuff consisting of hominy, corn, butter and possibly lard. Eating grits automatically makes you sensitive to the black experience, and puts you on the road to being an honorary black person.

Dr. Stephen Colbert (favorite son of South Carolina) eats them as a traditional mid-videotape-roll-in snack.Episode #330


  • stone-ground yellow
  • white grits
  • whole kernel hominy


If your stove obeys the laws of physics and you are not using magic grits, the following applies

  • throw the following ingredients into a pot:
    • instant grit mix
    • two pounds of butter
    • a pound of bacon
  • heat on stovetop until boiling
  • cooks in 20 minutes

One may, if one chooses, to add a secret ingredient: can of Whoop Ass.Episode #330

contains information regarding a culture
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