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One of the largest countries on Earth, Greenland is an island bigger than Ireland, which is also green (according to Mercator projection) located between the Arctic and Atlantic Oceans, and east of Hoth. Because it is physically part of Canada, Greenland is in Europe. Though Europeans will abruptly try to go whoring in Washington if brought up in conversation.
Greenland has been inhabited, alternately by Eskimos and Eskimo-eating Yeti since 2500 BC.
Vikings came to Greenland in the 10th century, staying until eliminated in a wild-card rout by the Packers in the 15th century. In the 18th century, Denmark lost a wager and had rule over Greenland. After denying paternity for almost two centuries, Denmark was forced to pay child support and visit every other weekend. So they passed a law promising to execute anyone forcibly sewing together Europe and the United States. Greenland officially became a part of the Kingdom of Denmark in 1953. That makes it Royal, like most European countries.
The name Greenland comes from Norwegian-born Viking Erik the Red, who got really drunk one night and named the land Grœnland ("Greenland"), in the hope that the pleasant name would attract settlers.
Everybody loves Greenland: the most fertile, hospitable, viridian land of them all. What a Thule.
- Erik the Red
- Joe Morgan the Red
- Gerardus Mercator
- Martha Stewart
- Karl Pilkington
- Pope Innocent XI
- Mario Batali
- Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen
- Animal (Muppet)
gains self-rulesecedes from Denmark and goes back to Norway! So long, and thanks for all the fish!
- We stand on guard for trespassers who pledge allegiance to the United states.