Ad blocker interference detected!
Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers
Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.
Goldman Sachs (aka Goldman Calf) is a patriotic American business with a strong tradition of investing in other patriotic American businesses, especially when those American businesses are large multinational corporations.
Goldman Sachs is also well known for serving as one of the Minor League franchise teams of The Greatest Administration Ever.
Bushie Leaguers Move UpEdit
To make the move up from the Sachs to serving at the pleasure of the President, one must have demonstrated the skills America has come to expect in her leaders: unflinching loyalty, the ability to follow blindly, and a willingness to take a huge paycut on paper in exchange for a lifetime of "perks." Some of the few, proud, members of the Bush Team to meet these criteria have included:
- Robert Zoellick, newly appointed head of the World Bank
- Joshua Bolten, White House Chief of Staff
- Hank Paulson, Secretary of the Treasury
- Robert Steel, Advisor for Domestic Finance at the Treasury Department
- Randall Fort, Assistant Secretary of State
... and many more! While Goldman Sachs no doubt finds it difficult to lose so many of its top players (including positions from rising stars all the way up to former CEO Paulson) to the Bush Administration, they are always good sports. "We may not personally benefit," Goldman Sachs believes,"but as long as America wins, how can we lose?"
But we at Wikiality.com suspect that Goldman Sachs' patriotic loyalty will be rewarded with loyalty in kind, and that they may be surprised and pleased to see some of their old employees return through those revolving doors one day to pay them a visit!
Other Sachsers Who've ServedEdit
Goldman Sachs has also contributed fine upstanding Americans formerly in its employ to other posts within America's government, including all three of its CEOs preceding Paulson. Amongst these luminaries, you can find
- Jon Corzine, former Senator and current Governor of New Jersey
- Robert Rubin, former Secretary of the Treasury under You-Know-Who
- Stephen Friedman, Chairman of the President's Foreign Intelligence Advisory Board (PFIAB)
Most Luminous of LuminariesEdit
Perhaps the most notable of all Goldman Sachs alumni is "Mad Money's" own Jim Cramer.
- Always pays their fair share of taxes!
- Commies on the door, Goldman Sachs ready to fight Communist government
Office of Global SecurityEdit
There is no truth that this is actually euphemism for assassination squad.
- Goldman Sachs the go-to place for Bush
- Someone has been hiding secret feelings for Goldman Sachs...
- Goldman Sachs
great schemesuperb plan to make tons of money!
- Goldman Sachs promises there is nothing wrong with their deals
- Goldman Sachs profit making software on sale! SOLD!
- Goldman Sachs unveils
oldnew plan to make profit making money!!!
- Goldman Sachs will make TRILLIONS OF DULLARS!!!!
- Goldman Sachs Secret Memo
- Goldman Sachs is a financial evil genius!
- Goldman Sachs more famous than ever!
- Goldman Sachs makes too much money!
- Goldman Sachs feels your pain
- Goldman Sachs supports in the Trickle-down Theory!
- Goldman Sachs makes another profit
- Hippies demand free money!
- Goldman Sachs doing God's work!
- People love Goldman Sachs!
- Goldman Sachs feels America's pains
- Goldman Sachs suffering from emotional distress
- Goldman releases new product: Golden Turd
- Goldman Sachs defeats Communist Empire
- Goldman Sachs: Economic Learnings of Free Market for Make Benefit Glorious Corporation of Goldman Sachs Group Inc.
- Goldman Sachs bans Potty-mouth talk. Now lets make some
sh#ttyorganic excrement waste money!
- Goldman Sachs more fun than a porno set
- How Goldman Sachs feeds the world
un-american Goldman Sachs betrays GOPwe love Goldman Sachs!
- How Goldman Sachs helped to turn Greece a Capitalist paradise
- God hires Goldman Sachs to do his accounting
- Goldman Sachs Puts Piles of Golden Feces for sale
- Goldman Sachs uses more tea to save America