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DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

...Jon Stewart walked a mile in Geraldo's mustache?


An American patriot celebrating the sun and his flag. Geraldo, unlike Al Gore, shows there is not too much heat for his mustache.

Gerald Miguel Riviera (born July 4, 1943 in New York City), known to TV audiences as Geraldo Rivera or simply Geraldo or Uncle Bear is an American television journalist with an affinity for putting his life on the line for the truth.

Because of the risks he takes, he has an insurance policy on his mustache, which often serves as both protection and disguise on his many dangerous investigations.


Prime-time television

In 1986 he hosted a live two-hour special on the opening of what he called The Mystery of Al Capone's Vault. Despite Geraldo's courage in staying the course, ABC refused to continue to broadcast.

In 1987 he began hosting a daytime talk show, Geraldo. One of the early shows was titled "Men in Lace Panties and the Women Who Love Them". His nose was broken in a well-publicized brawl with Midget Nazis.



Geraldo Rivera, seen here dodging bullets hundreds of miles away!

During the 2003 Iraq War, as an "embedded journalist" with U.S. forces in Iraq, Geraldo once reported on the position of Coalition Troops. He was hoping for interviews with the Iraqi Republican Guard.

During 2005 trial of Michael Jackson, Geraldo Rivera vowed to promptly shave his distinctive trademark moustache and auction it on eBay to help fund Jackson's legal defense. Geraldo frequently helps with the legal fees of accused child molestors.

On August 3, 2006, Geraldo slandered Stephen Colbert on The O'Reilly Factor, comparing the famed journalist’s television show to "America's Funniest Home Videos," stating that he "make(s) a living putting on video of old ladies slipping on ice and people laughing." Legal action on the slander suit was pending.

Pastor Fred Phelps uses the term, "Satanic Spirit of Mockery" to describe the mocking and scoffing that Jon Stewart and our very own Stephen Colbert do when they do not show the amount of reverence for Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, The Only Son of God that Phelps deems sufficient.

Some people claim that Geraldo and Phelps have been working in cahoots, if not from the same talking points. But that's not true. Pastor Fred Phelps and Geraldo were discussing the same phenomenon and how damaging it is to America because it is truthy and nothing more.

Geraldo Rivera was also so offended by Jon Stewart's video segments of old ladies slipping on ice that he had to find solace in Pappa Bear O'Reilly. It is not known whether or not Mr. Rivera has accepted Stewart's cowardly excuse for an apology. He also may or may not file a lawsuit against Stewart for forgery, this relating to when Stewart tried to pose as Geraldo in his iconic moustache.

Personal Life

Geraldo also enjoys waxing his mustache and keeping it in top condition. He also enjoys getting married and hates divorce.

See also

External Sources

Geraldo Rivera/Featured
Meets the High Standards of The Truthiness Monkeys™,
Obedience, Ignorance and Fear,
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