George Clooney

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George Clooney
is a CELEBRITY! Oh. My. God.
Al Franken
George Clooney has earned
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The Chinese are communists who like to make money.
Sort of like an army of George Clooneys.
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~ Stephen Colbert
Colbert Report

George Clooney is the poster boy for radical left-wing Hollywood elitists. He is part of the Axis of Bad Georges. Recently, Fabio kicked George's ass while at a restaurant after George came in and attempted to perform abortions on all the women and give gay marriages to all the men.


Nice Don Johnson impersonation you poseur.


Hollywood's real pick for Sexiest Man Alive, except that he's dead.


Not quite girlie, not quite man,
George Clooney
is all Girlieman.

Mr. Clooney (if that's his real name) spends all of his free time editing his Wikip*dia page.

He believes his name must be in every tube of the internets. Its true... just spend a day googling him down.

He also believes everyone should worship him based on his performance in The Peacemaker. He uses the word worship because no one has ever seen the movie and should take it on faith that he was good in it.

Also, he is addicted to plastic surgery. He has had his eyes done and his balls ironed.

Sexual FantasiesEdit

George Clooney
looks good in anything,
but looks hot in drag, baby!!

Mr. Clooney fantasizes about watching Michael Jackson being raped by the Gorton's fisherman.[1]

Watches 2 girls 1 cup at least once a day.

As one of many male objects of Stephen's fantasies, Clooney is also trying to make Stephen gay, which is why Stephen hates him.

Not HotEdit

George Clooney is not hot. (Did you ever see him when he was in The Facts of Life?)

The Only Living Commie Celebrity From KentuckyEdit

You would think that Kentucky had her Red State approved commie-border installed safely, but those hillbillies were too busy checking to make sure their new-fangled dentures were installed let one get out, and he happened to be a Celebrity Commie.


He is also a disgrace to the name George. No other person with the name George hates America. He needs to become entangled in a Drug-Fueled Sex Crime, apologize and then slink off the national stage in shame.

The Crisis In DarfurEdit

Now that Clooney has decided that the United States government should do something about Darfur, we should probably not do anything about Darfur. We do not need some Hollywood liberal elite telling us what genocide we should stop.

Sexiest Man?Edit

He was fraudulently elected People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for 2007, stealing the title from Matthew McConaughey. This makes him a (non-consecutive) two-time holder of the title.

Death on his mindEdit

He once shamelessly tried to kill Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was suffering from pneumonia at the time, by blasphemously dressing up as Batman and using a gay form of Martial Arts on the defenseless Austrian. The incident was captured in the greatly respected German documentary Der Hiebmann und der Robin.


George Clooney is scheduled to square off with Stephen Colbert in a Hyperbole-Off.

Skinny DippingEdit

George Clooney likes to skinny dip in Italy after a long day of work, he usually invites other celebrities to get naked with him and soak their tired bodies while their skin glistens under the light of the Italian moon. He has invited all known celebrities, except Stephen Colbert. Apparently Clooney would rather invite Charlie Rose than Colbert; but we all know he is just teasing, because Clooney is a well known punditchaser.


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I'm not a legislator and I'm not a politician.
I just try to use the credit card that you get for being famous
in the right instances whenever you can.
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~ George Clooney, April 27, 2006

George, we gave you that credit card for very limited uses: cars, bitches and Cristal. If you do not understand, please watch HBO's Entourage.

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Our motto is, Less is nothing.
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~ George Clooney discussing the cast of Ocean's 13's cast's approach to acting,
Time Magazine, May 30, 2007

See AlsoEdit

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