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A Gay Wedding differs from a Gay Marriage in that the marriage is an abomination on paper and the wedding is an abomination on embossed and scented card stock.
Sections of the reportEdit
This report shall be divided into 3 main sections:
- pre-wedding - everything that is done in preparation of the slap in The Baby Jesus' face
- wedding - the entire sacreligious "ceremony"
- post-wedding - all the sodomical rituals following the "ceremony"
There is a lot of planning involved when destroying God's Sacred Plan. From the participants to the activist judges, many choices have to be made before the whole depraved bacchinalian "ceremony" can take place.
Just like normal marriages, the gays have a "bride" and "groom".
The "groom's" "family" sit on one side of the aisle, and members of the "bride's" "family", who dare to attend, sit on the other.
The "groom" stands at the front of the "church" along with a limited number of his friends
A short revue of Cher songs is performed by the Drag Queens Local to prime the attendant crowd for the "bride's" entrance.
Once the lights dim, the required ABBA song is played (with or without lip syncer).
The "bride" then walks down the aisle as the dancing crowd is sprinkled with the requisite laser light show.
Post-Ceremony Ritualistic AbominationsEdit
How Gay Weddings Hurt America's EconomyEdit
- ↑ But not in a gay way
- ↑ Girls
- ↑ Boys
- ↑ If no members of the "brid's" family can attend, a group of older queens are employed to fill any empty seats.
- ↑ But, only if George Clooney or Brad Pitt are too busy.
- ↑ Often, the "groom's" lesbionic auto mechanic, pet groomer, and a random florescent-hair-colored, tattooed, multiple-pierced freakshow all wearing matching tuxedos.