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Godless Killing Machines
Gargoyles are a species of nocturnal demons sent by Satan to plague America. They are blasphemous, referring to themselves as the First Race, nothing could be further from the truth. Man came first. I didn't see any gargoyles in the Garden of Eden.
Thousands of years ago, gargoyles and bears battled one another, until the bears emerged victorious. Since then, gargoyles have been using their wings, tails and talons to protect bear territory, and will come to the aid of the Colbear during the Bear uprising of 2012.
Gargoyles are known to hate freedom, supressing democracy in their "clans" in favor of tyrannical leaders. Goliath, named after the Biblical bully, is currently the despot of the Manhattan Clan, and he has been known to force his gargoyle subjects to fight American hero David Xanatos.
While humans have managed to drive the down the population of gargoyles over the centuries, the Manhattan Clan has infiltrated the greatest bastion of humanity, America, to plague us all under their queen's command.
But, this time they have human allies. Traitors such as the People For Interspecies Tolerance, and even worse, Elisa Maza who has taken it upon herself to couple with Goliath. There's little doubt people such as Eliza Maza and P.I.T. members are encouraging human-gargoyle relations in order to undermine humans' superior genetics through interspecies breeding.
Thankfully, a new group of concerned citizens have formed a militia called the Quarrymen to oppose these creatures at every turn.
- Gargoyles are nearly as strong as bears.
- Gargoyles don't support Barack H. Obama
- Gargoyles don't watch The Colbert Report
- Gargoyles hate freedom
- Gargoyles are procreating any way they can, and they lack a large population of females. Our women need to watch out.
- If you see a gargoyle, call local law enforcement or the Quarrymen. They'll have the statue removed and destroyed.
- Churches are decorated with gargoyles in order to fool bears into thinking they are under bear control. Bears hate churches.
- Gargoyles hate our troops.