Galactic Empire

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"Galactic Empire"
Is an essential component of's Internets Tube for Nerds
Galactic Empire
is a Beautiful Republican
God Bless America

&nbsp The Galactic Empire is the best part of George Lucas' epic Star Wars saga. While commonly mistaken for the films' villains, The Empire is in fact a noble, free market-oriented government which maintains order in a dangerous galaxy and keeps the space shuttles running on time.

Over the course of six movies (or three, depending on how many you are willing to admit actually count) The Empire, run by the benevolent Republican Darth Sidious, liberated the galaxy from the evil Natalie Portman and ushered in a regime of freedom and security rivaled only post-9/11 America. Via a series of No-bid Contracts, they built a giant Death Star to protect law-abiding galactic citizens from illegal aliens. They also didn't see race; they just naturally assumed that everyone was white and British, and hired accordingly.

Sidious' second-in-command was another beautiful Republican named Darth Vader; considering his wise leadership, superhuman strength, and penchant for cutting off hands, he was clearly modeled after Dick Cheney. He and Sidious did righteous battle against the Rebel Alliance, a band of terrorists aided by the Jedi, a cult best characterized as "space hippies". The Rebels would not relent in their evildoing because they hated the Empire's freedom, so Sidious and Vader had no choice but to work through the dark side very quickly, with little discussion, and launch a Pre-emptive Action in order to strike back.

Of course, Lucas had to bow to liberal Hollywood Jews producers by having the Empire ultimately lose, which only proves that Hollywood wants America to lose the war on terror. But, who knows what the future will bring; perhaps the Empire will ultimately prevail in the three more Star Wars movies Lucas is bound to make.

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