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Funemployment

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Funemployment is the state of enjoyed unemployment, a concept promoted by Barack Obama's national free healthcare act, where persons who have too few assets and too little income to survive are no longer deemed "bums" but, rather, funemployed. Funemployed persons enjoy such passtimes as dumpster-diving, socializing with free healthcare professionals, and saying "dude, stop and smell the roses" at local coffee franchises. Pre-funemployed are persons who have received notice of job elimination but continue to enjoy paychecks for a temporary period. These individuals engage in multiple fun pursuits, including "job-hunting" which involves resumes and bazookas, cubicle ball which engages non-notified co-workers in eye-hazardous flying monkey games, and networking which is the art of stalking hiring managers outside office bathrooms. Highly motivated pre-funemployed persons lie in wait in office bathrooms awaiting the familiar aroma of the captive audience before pitching their skills and cultural match for open positions. Highly motivated pre-funemployed persons suffer a disproportionate rate of gender discrimination, as their bathroom fun is deemed objectionable by opposite-gender hiring managers. Currently-funemployed persons are recognizable by their afternoon beer-buzz, Crocker-and-Tubbs 3-day stubble, and generally peaceful disposition. Post-funemployed persons (the statistically-irrelevant "disenfranchised" who are simply no longer counted in the labor pool) are the funemployed who have outlived their federally-extended fun-unemployment benefits. They can be recognized by their ZZ-top beards, desperate eyes, and donation cups on the sidewalk.

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