Fozzie Bear
Male Communist
06/29/1953 - present
Birthplace  ???
Religion Pagan
Education Bear Corps
Occupation Bear Comedian/Second Lieutenant
Spouse Single
Super Powers Deadly Killing Skills
Fun Fact #1 Had sex with Jessica Simpson
Fun Fact #2 Wears a hat

Background Edit

Fozzie Bear is a second lieutenant in the Bear Corps of Paraguay and has eaten three members of the Partridge Family with no remorse. Born on June 29, 1953, Fozzie Bear has always shown promise among the ranks of bears, whether it's his wise-cracking personality (which is only amusing to other bears) or his deadly killing skills (one of the most dangerous bears next to Colbear) he had promise. He quickly rose to the ranks of Dance Commander, but after his affair with pop sensation Jessica Simpson he was promptly demoted to Private First Class. The other bears clearly didn't approve of his interspecies relations and he was punished for his sexual deviancy. Fozzie has been slowly working his way back to the top, mostly by killing members of the Green Party, and is now back on track to possibly make it to a rank as high as Vice Admiral Sr.

Fozzie Bear Scare Edit


Fozzie's evil schemes hit close to home for many.

Fozzie Bear is infamous for his infiltration of young children's minds via the comical group known as the Muppets. On Muppet television programs and films Fozzie tried manipulating children to kill Ronald Reagan by using the phrase 'Wocka! Wocka!', which is actually a southern dialect of Mandarin meaning 'Kill Ronnie! Kill Ronnie!' Thankfully our hero Ronald Reagan died in a bloody battle against the Communists in southern New Mexico before a child actually got to the former President.

Future Edit

Fozzie guitar

No one can be quite sure what the future holds for Fozzie Bear, many say he has been hiding in the back hills of West Virginia where no government agency can find him. Others say he is working on another Muppet project where he'll surely have another evil plot to thwart America. No matter what the truth is, one thing is certain, he is very dangerous.

Famous People Edit


Fozzie drowning in liquor.

Fozzie Bear has often been associated with:

Trivia Edit


He almost destoryed an Egyptian treasure.

  • Often seen wearing a Bowtie
  • Once tried to conquer space in Muppets From Space
  • Tried to destroy the Sphinx
  • Raging alcoholic
  • Plays a mean guitar

BEARsqu   Bears   BEARsqu
Ursa  | Winnie The Pooh  | Yogi Bear  | Colbear  | Smokey The Bear
Polar bears  | Pizzly  | Polar Grizzly  | Koala  | Panda Bear  | Bats
Vampbear  | BearSharks  | Bipolar Bear  | Care Bears  | Roller bear
Bear baiting  | Bear is driving  | Bearism  | Great Bear Incident  | The Left Wing Madness

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