Fort Collins

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Fort Collins
is a Recognized City of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.
Fort Collins
Fort Collins, 1875
Mayor: Sunny Lubick
City Motto: Mmmm Beer!
Nickname: The CHOICE City/FoCo
Standard MPH: As fast as your Bike can go
Principal industries: Beer, Veterinarians
Fun Fact #1: Fort Collins is not in Belgium

Fort Collins HistoryEdit

Settled in the middle 1800's, Fort Collins was home to almost 1 million Injuns (or Native Amricans as they prefer you to believe) who believed the Horsetooth rock formation was a God that demanded Lamb sacrifice every hour. When White-Americans came to the area, they were amazed at all of the unused lamb meat, and subsequently build a Fort to contain all the meat (much like Fort Knox contains gold. In honor of all the fallen lambs, Fort Collins High School's mascot is the Lambkins- Quite possibly the worst mascot ever.

Fort Collins TodayEdit

Bears have been known to frequent the Mountains west of town. In a drastic attempt to thwart any plans of attack, a giant lake was built between them and the town.

A civil war is brewing between the Liberal North FoCo and Conservative south Ft. Collins.

-Southerner "Get your damn bikes of my road!!"

-Northerner "Take this, and just chill man"

Colorado State UniversityEdit

The new Fort to defend.

CSU Believes in Wind power and is at the forefront for the Liberal north FoCo.

Bears have been sighted on the CSU campus, and is of the utmost concern.

State FeudsEdit

After several failed battles using the football technique Fort Collins finally won a battle fought in The Peoples Republic of Boulder (before these battles were fought in Denver). Unfortunately this battles outcome did not phase The Peoples Republic of Boulder as Fort Collins had hoped.

On October 15, 2009 Fort Collins Patriot Richard Heene planed to send the youngest of his three sons Falcon Heene in a top secrete "Jiffy Pop" balloon. Unfortunately incompetence lead to a botched execution and subsequent embarrassment for Colorado, Fort Collins, and America.

Fort Collins LandmarksEdit

Old town is the only landmark you need to know... That and the two tall banks that are not too tall.

Famous People From Fort CollinsEdit

  • The old cop from Beverly Hills Cop
  • Walt Disney
  • Fat Tire
  • Cam 'the' Ram

Strange Laws in Fort CollinsEdit

  • Since the bike pile up of '05, drinking and biking is considered a felony.
"Fort Collins"
is hippie-related, and not groovy to The Baby Jesus.

See AlsoEdit

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