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Former GOP Wives Support Group

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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.


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Oh No!
Former GOP Wives Support Group
needs help fast!
Quick! Someone call the cavalry!


This support group offers companionship (of the non-gay variety) to women whose Patriotism and wealth did not allow them to remain married to a man of a higher class.

Membership RequirementsEdit

Many women wish to belong to this exclusive club, but it is not open to just any woman.

Only a woman who was once desirable to an American Alpha Male could ever dream of joining the FGWSG.

DuesEdit

  • your dignity
  • your youth and vitality

InitiationEdit

  • marry a man of means
    • have sex with him at his discretion
    • go to parties with him as arm candy

SacrificesEdit

  • personal pleasure
  • personal success

Current MembersEdit

  • Jane Wyman
  • Arianna Huffington
  • Jeri Ryan
  • Jackie Battley
  • Marianne Ginther
  • Regina Peruggi
  • Donna Hanover
  • Roxy Maxine McNeely
  • Michelle Sixta
  • Marta Maranda Fitzgerald
  • Carol Shepp

Future MembersEdit

  • Callista Bisek
  • Judith Nathan
  • Cindy Hensley McCain

Monthly LuncheonsEdit

GoldenGirlsKitchen

"I really miss my successful, viril and Republican ex-husband; I wish I was good enough for him..."

Every month, the ladies get together to discuss marriage, alimony, sex and how much they miss their ex-husbands.

Yearly ConventionEdit

Every year, the ladies get together to celebrate their sisterhood.

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