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Ford
has been granted full United States "citizenship"
for their donation to Republican causes.
America thanks you, Ford
DebtMiles
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Ford
is a Gold-Level
Member of the
Debt-Miles
Reward Program®
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Hey Ma!
Pack your banjo and chewin' t'backer, we fixin' to enjoy us some
Ford


Ford
Ford Corporate Logo
Full Corporate Name Ford Motor Company
Tsar Henry Ford VIII
Founded 1776
Headquarters Michigan
Industry Vehicularized design and manufacture
Products Cars an' Trucks
Revenue $100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 a day


Ford is an American car company that was founded by Henry Ford in 1776. It is the biggest and best car company in the world, and the greatest producer of all-American cars made entirely in America! Henry Ford was a famous non-racist, who was fond of saying that he liked his cars "any color, as long as its black"


Ford Cars Edit

Ford is famous for making cars that are driven by real American men. You would never catch one of the gays driving a Ford, and their salesmen are prohibited from selling to gays. Ford cars have macho names. Some of the cars Ford makes are:

  • The Taurus
  • The Mustang
  • The Probe
  • The Schlong
  • The Explorer
  • The Expedition
  • The Period During College When You Experimented
  • The Thunderbird
  • The Falcon XR6 TURBO
  • The Fairmont GHIA
  • The Falcon G6E Turbo
  • The Fiesta ST
  • The Missile
Onnotice2

Ford
contains too many facts,
Please clear this internets tube before the whole system gets clogged up!


Ford Ownership Edit

Ford owns a controlling share interest in the following companies: Mazda, Hummer, China Automobile Corp, Mitsubishi, Volvo, Leyland, Volkswagen, BMW, Mercedes, Mattel Toys, Jaguar, Porsche, Skoda, Maggi Noodles, Kia, Hyundai, Procter & Gamble, Seat and Toyota. Ford also owns Lincoln (a high-end vehicle which Henry Ford named after his neighbor, President Abraham Lincoln), FPV (fuckin' powerful vehicles) and Mercury (his favourite thermometer company). It is a little known fact that President Harrison Ford was the 18th cousin second-removed of Henry Ford, but he sold his 0.0016% share in the company after his death.

The Mustang AC Shelby Cobra 500 GT Edit

The most famous Ford car of all is the Mustang AC Shelby Cobra 500 GT. Designed by Carroll Shelby, who is the car designer GOD. Only 500,000 of them were ever made. The Greatest President Ever drives one.

American Idol Edit

Ford is the sponsor of American Idol, the boringest show on television. The contestants get to do music videos and stuff, and get filmed having sex inside Ford cars, which makes people want to buy more Ford cars. This is odd, because the demographic that American Idol is marketed to (infants and pedophiles) cannot afford cars.

See AlsoEdit

External Tube Edit

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