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|Full Corporate Name||Ford Motor Company|
|Tsar||Henry Ford VIII|
|Industry||Vehicularized design and manufacture|
|Products||Cars an' Trucks|
|Revenue||$100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 a day|
Ford is an American car company that was founded by Henry Ford in 1776. It is the biggest and best car company in the world, and the greatest producer of all-American cars made entirely in America! Henry Ford was a famous non-racist, who was fond of saying that he liked his cars "any color, as long as its black"
Ford Cars Edit
Ford is famous for making cars that are driven by real American men. You would never catch one of the gays driving a Ford, and their salesmen are prohibited from selling to gays. Ford cars have macho names. Some of the cars Ford makes are:
- The Taurus
- The Mustang
- The Probe
- The Schlong
- The Explorer
- The Expedition
- The Period During College When You Experimented
- The Thunderbird
- The Falcon XR6 TURBO
- The Fairmont GHIA
- The Falcon G6E Turbo
- The Fiesta ST
- The Missile
Ford Ownership Edit
Ford owns a controlling share interest in the following companies: Mazda, Hummer, China Automobile Corp, Mitsubishi, Volvo, Leyland, Volkswagen, BMW, Mercedes, Mattel Toys, Jaguar, Porsche, Skoda, Maggi Noodles, Kia, Hyundai, Procter & Gamble, Seat and Toyota. Ford also owns Lincoln (a high-end vehicle which Henry Ford named after his neighbor, President Abraham Lincoln), FPV (fuckin' powerful vehicles) and Mercury (his favourite thermometer company). It is a little known fact that President Harrison Ford was the 18th cousin second-removed of Henry Ford, but he sold his 0.0016% share in the company after his death.
The Mustang AC Shelby Cobra 500 GT Edit
The most famous Ford car of all is the Mustang AC Shelby Cobra 500 GT. Designed by Carroll Shelby, who is the car designer GOD. Only 500,000 of them were ever made. The Greatest President Ever drives one.
American Idol Edit
Ford is the sponsor of American Idol, the boringest show on television. The contestants get to do music videos and stuff, and get filmed having sex inside Ford cars, which makes people want to buy more Ford cars. This is odd, because the demographic that American Idol is marketed to (infants and pedophiles) cannot afford cars.