WARNING: By choosing to visit
Flight Attendant
you have contracted Teh Ghey!

Report to the closest authorized de-gayification church near you to begin ungayification immediately.

Flight Attendant
is an insidious part of the
Fancy-pantsification of America!

Flight Attendant
makes The Baby Jesus and America cry,
and should be treated with caution contempt!


The Mother Of All Flight Attendants
The species was first introduced by the notorius Nurse Ratchet, formerly of the Oregon State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Who's real life exploits were chronicled in Ken Kesey's autobiographical novel, "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest."


Celebrating Their Gayness
The only time Flight Attendants smile is when Show Tunes are piped over the intercom. Here they are cavorting while performing a rendition of "Rent." The most homosexual musical ever produced.

Flight Attendants: (Not to be confused with Slutty Flight Attendants) Are trained professionals skilled in making sure you don't get your requested extra pillow while the plane continues on its four hour holding pattern over a fogged in airport. They bring nothing but misery and make Stephen and The Baby Jesus cry.

What Flight Attendants DoEdit


More Gayness
Flight Attendants, no matter how much they wish it were so, will never be as awesome as Slutty Flight Attendants.

  • Wake you from your cozy slumber by smacking you in the shoulder with their fat asses every time they waddle down the aisle.
  • Spread HIV
  • "Help" your children in the lavatory.
  • Sick the Air Marshalls on you when are Mile High Clubing.
  • Look at you like you are a Terrorist if you ask for, "...the whole can of soda."
  • Smell like wrestlers.

Sad Flight Attendant FactsEdit


Gaëtan Dugas
Single handedly spread AIDS all over the world. Dugas is now infamous for having created the first Pan-Amdemic.


And Yet, Even More Gayness
In the Good Old Days The airlines would never have tolerating such a brazen display of sodomy loving.


Tom Cruise
Who is definitely not Gay, loves hanging out with John Travolta on his Boeing 707 playing Flight Attendent and hot oil wrestling.

  • A queer French Canadian queer Flight Attendant named queer Gaëtan Dugas was the AIDS Patient Zero. He She flew for Air Queer Canada and was a devout queer Sodomite. He She spread the virus by having queer sex with thousands of queers men in queer gay bath houses throughtout the world.
  • Ironically, in direct contridiction to Canada's queer liberal agenda, makes their number one Canadian export dead queers Homosexuals.

Avoiding Flight AttendantsEdit

  • Go Greyound
  • Hitchhike
  • Stay home, watch TV, eat donuts, drink beer.

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

The Baby Satan has a special place in hell for
Flight Attendant
and YOU just for visiting this internets tube!

"Flight Attendant"
is a part of's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.

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