Hey, where the hell is
I don't care, it's not America...hey nice ass, lady!
Josh purse medium
drives on the wrong side of the road, and carries a man purse.
Must be European.

Finland is a country that takes great pride in their knives: there is even an amendment in the Finnish constitution that allows anyone to bear knives. This amendment has several times been the victim of communist propaganda but thanks to hard working groups such as the NKA (National Knife Association), the amendment has stayed unchanged for hundreds of years.

The fact that there are over 50,000 knife related deaths in Finland every year is not in any way connected to the liberal knife laws but are instead the result of alcohol and atheism.

Finland: No HungariaEdit

Finland and Hungaria share many common traits, including a common linguistic history. When Finland and Hungaria split, Finlandese got all the vowels, and Hungarese got all the consonants. They also share general bad-assery, and the ability to lure unsuspecting American girls traveling across Europe on their own into bed with them. However, Hungaria is different from Finland in certain key ways (and not just because Hungaria returns phone calls).

  • First, and most importantly, Hungaria named a Bridge for Stephen Colbert, something Finland has never done.
  • Secondly, Hungaria could totally take Finland in a compose-a-thon, because Hungaria has contributed everything to the history of classical music, and Finland has given us... who? Sibelius? That guy was a total prick.
  • Third. Finland has never produced a great guitarist, and Hungary (occasionally) rocks.
  • Finally, and most importantly of all, Hungarians adore Our Glorious Stephen, while the Finns are Conan fans.

In a fight between Finland and Hungaria, it would be a toss-up, although Finland might be a slight favorite because of all the knives. In a shred-off between the two countries, Hungary would win, no question. Even with "mitts" on.

Did you Know?Edit


Tarja Halonen, Finland's president

  • Being Finnish is the world's #1 cause of suicide?
  • Finland is the world's #1 producer of umlauts?
  • The Finns only elect leaders who resemble red-headed American talk show hosts?
  • The Finns coined the term "Sisu", which means "Guts". For example if a person has a plenty of Sisu, he posesses a remarkable gut.

Athletic ThreadEdit

Dr. Colbert helped better know the inscrutible Finn when he sharedEpisode #437 a beloved film from his childhood: The 1952 Helsinki Games: The Reindeer Roars, presented by Prescott Educational Films.

External TubesEdit

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