Feminism is a collection of absurd and backwards social theories that fat women and ugly women use to get out of any real work or responsibility in the same way a kid with asthma uses his inhaler to get out of getting punched in the stomach when he knows he deserves it. Pioneered by women with no children and who should never have any, Feminism shared its height in popularity with such other majesties as velour black light posters and driving motorcycles without helmets. Which of these things is the dumbest, society may never know.
Feminazism was started in the 1940's by Karl Marx, a top communist and liberal supporter. The feminazism movement was started to fight for the right of teenage girls to wear t-shirts that say "porn star". Rosie O'Donnell is the current spokesdyke for the Feminazi party, also known as Democrats.
|Men weren't really the enemy - they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill.|
Recently Stephen has declared that he "like[s] feminists." This is because they are rendered powerless in his manly presence. The extra testosterone radiating radiantally from his pores reminds them how much they love cooking, like all women do. A feminist in Stephen's presence will be compelled to kiss him, and the hair on her unshaven legs will spontaneously fall out.
Feminist political activists like Andrea Dworkin, Germaine Greer, and Miss Piggy, throw platitudes and "statistics" at their opponents like a squid shoots "ink" at an advancing shark. In this metaphor, just like in life, the shark's teeth are a pro-male attitude. Make no mistake, a feminist has only one thing on his or her mind: sex. Contraception, Reproductive Rights, Abortion; feminists are more obsessed with sex than a 13 year old boy and get just about as much accomplished with their average day.
After enjoying a brief stint as a plot device for the 1980's sitcom Married with Children, Feminism is now little more than fodder for Nike advertising campaigns. The Greatest Living American himself, Stephen Colbert, demonstrated this on a brilliant piece of investigative journalism entitled Cooking with Feminists. Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda never looked so competent.
Feminists are a sub sect of Feminazis and a scourge to our world. They wish to destroy all Real Americans™. Feminists can be identified by hairy legs, K.D. Lang CD's, Birkenstocks, and plaid shirts. Feminists or "Feminazi's" are part of the liberal move to destroy American Values. The Feminazi party is headed by Hillary Clinton.
How can women really liberate themselves?Edit
Ask Rachael Ray. She is a fabulous role model for the young ladies out there...with her multimillion dollar endorsements with things people will never need, undressing in front of the camera, and her own cooking show(You've come a long way baby).
Feminism, Liberation & PromiscuityEdit
Recent research by Dr. Hefner, Flynt et al. suggests that the most efficient path to female liberation is rampant promiscuity. The study reports that 90% of women will enjoy having slutty, slutty sex with men to whom they would not normally be attracted if they will just give it a try. [Other scholars note that the data collected by rich and famous pornographers may not be completely unbiased.]