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Federal Government

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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
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Federal Government
is part of the United States Federal Government.
Don't ask; asking only helps the terrorists.
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CONGRATULATIONS! By visiting
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America's Federal Government is divided into three four branches that can be represented by the fingers on one of your hands.

  1. The Judicial - The pinky finger, as it can't do much of anything these days.
    1. The Supreme Court
  2. The Legislative - The ring finger, as used for gay marriages
    1. The House of Representatives
    2. The Senate
  3. The Executive - The middle finger, used for scratching noses.
    1. The President
    2. The "President's Cabinet"
    3. The "President's Staff"
  4. The Judiexeculative - The index finger, which he uses to tell you to go %$#! yourself.
  5. There is also a fifth branch known only to members of the executive branch. If anyone asks you to smell it, say no, because, unless you are the president or the head of the CIA, you do not know where it has been.
  6. The thumb is not a finger. Our government, therefore, is a six-fingered freak-hand.


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