Exxon Mobil
has been granted full United States "citizenship"
for their donation to Republican causes.
America thanks you, Exxon Mobil

Exxon, now ExxonMobil after its merger with Mobil, provides the best American made gas in America. Because of the quality of its fine gases, it has set new profit records for any USA company while keeping gas prices low to help the economy.


Alaska governor Sarah Palin goes to Washington in February, 2008 with a shame pole.

Products and ServicesEdit

Oil, including fine oil tankers, offshore oil wells, and gas.


Exxon Mobil
Exxon flag
HQ: Texas
Common Name: Independent Multinational Sovereign Conglomerate Empire
CEO: Rex Tillerson
Rating Credit: AAA+
Motto: Fuck them, I got mine!
Official Flower: Oil
Official Book: Any books by Ayn Rand
Official Religion: Moneytheism & Randianism
Official Language: Randian
Official Bird: Oil
Official Anthem: We Love Oil
Population: Classified
Currency: Dollars, Euros, Pounds, Yen, Won, Yuan, Ruble, Mulla, Dinero, Etc.
Principal imports: Oil, Gas
Principal exports: Mercenaries, Money, Oil Leaks, Foreign Policy, Security Policy, Military, Police.
Principal industries: Oil, Oil, Oil, Environmental Disasters, Security Forces, and Civil War.
Fun Fact # 1: They love oil.

Environmental ContributionsEdit

War Crime AccusationsEdit


ExxonMobil has been the subject of numerous lawsuits, primarily related to its voluntary releases of oil into generally uninhabitable ecosystems like the Pacific Ocean.

River of OilEdit

Exxon discovered the mythical river of oil! We are rich!!!

See AlsoEdit

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