White House
is the cabinet post or job
of the United States of America
Department of Justice
Established: June 22, 1870
Attorney General:Alberto Gonzales
Deputy Attorney General: Paul McNulty (former)

The DoJ is headed by former Dancing with the Stars Champion, and current King of England, Tucker Carlson.


The Department of Justice is trusted with the honorable job of torturing the living crap out of anyone Un-American. (That's why it's the Department of Justice) America was given exclusive permission in the Geneva Conventions to use torture as a sole means of extracting information from satanic jihadists, Bearists, and Democrats.

(copy/pasted from "Department of Justice")
The Department of Justice is responsible for just that, dispensing Justice. While generally this involves a long and complicated trial, the Bush Administration is working to change this, making our courts obsolete and freeing up more tax money to fund the War on Terror.


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DoJ Fires Attorneys some claim they were fired because:

  • they were not doing their job
  • they were presiding over public corruption investigations
  • reportedly "dithered" after they were instructed to cut someone's muslim balls off (no room for pussies here)

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