Ellen DeGeneres
is a CELEBRITY! Oh. My. God.
Ellen DeGeneres
is a "Certified Chick!"
You Go Girl!
Baby Jesus
The Baby Jesus and The Baby Satan
are fighting over the very soul of
Ellen DeGeneres
WARNING: By choosing to visit
Ellen DeGeneres
you have contracted Teh Ghey!

Report to the closest authorized de-gayification church near you to begin ungayification immediately.
Ellen dance1

Who isn't turned on by this?

Ellen dance2

Feelin' hot, hot, hot!

Ellen DeGeneres is the whimsical host of the day-time talk show "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." Ellen is considered by many in Hollywood to be a "dual threat," as she is both a noted comedienne and a famous lesbianne. Ellen's unique combination of gifts made her the perfect candidate to host the 79th Annual Academy Awards ceremony on February 25, 2007.

On December 5, 2007, she showed where his allegiances lie: he crossed a picket line of striking writers to host a show with guest Jenna Bush, who then called her daddy, The Greatest President Everlive and on the air — to discuss their non-icky love for each other!

That's showin' those damn hippie writers, Ellen!

You get those ratings, girl!

The DeGeneres ParadoxEdit

On the February 1, 2007 episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert expressed concern that Ellen might dance too well at the 2007 Oscars, causing him to become attracted to her. Since Ellen is known to be a lesbian, Stephen was unsure about what this attraction would make him. He asked the heroes to email him and tell him.

The Study Group has studied the issue for Dr. Colbert and have released a report of their findings on "The DeGeneres Paradox" in response to his request.

Ellen Portia

Was it the dancing that did it for Portia?

Ellen Fun FractsEdit

  • Ellen DeGeneres was the first famous TV lesbian to be openly lesbionic on the TV. So we should basically blame (or thank, depending on your point of view) her for emboldening all the others who came later.
  • Ellen DeGeneres and Conan O'Brien may be the same person. Both like to dance badly on talk shows and both prefer the ladies. Both exert a strangely hypnotic attractive force that Stephen Colbert finds difficult to resist, while at the same time unbearable to consider. Coincidence? You decide.
    • To find out whether they are the same person, they must have a dance-off. If both of them show up, they are clearly different people... or are they?

There's Hope for Her YetEdit

Despite being lesbionic, Mz. Degeneres has proven she can be perfected with a little influence. During the Writers' strike of 2007, she crossed the picket line and made the discussion about herself!

Way to go, Ellen!

External LinksEdit

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