If you are not a Ranger (or higher) in the party, refer all press inquiries to your party-appointed lawyer or PR Man.
Rangers (or higher) use the following directives when handling the press:
- do not answer any questions;
- deny knowledge of any activity;
- demand as loudly and as often as you can for investigations into anything your constituents believe is happening;
- do not begin any investigations until AFTER the elections;
- when the pre-election threat/attack/bin Laden capture is announced, be outraged, but demand that ALL Americans work together to defeat the enemy;
- place blame where it belongs, using the GOP Blame Game;
- Repeat the GOP Mantra as often as possible, in every conversation, all day long.