This article contains information about an upcoming or ongoing Catastrophuck in the United States.
Content may change dramatically as the debacle unfolds.

Election 2008
is important enough for FOX to call "news".
Fox Fabricates, You Obey.

Election 2008
is an important part of FOX's Election 2008 Coverage.

Fox is following the 2008 Presidential Election very closely, so close in fact, we already know who's going to win!

And, just to keep things interesting, we will provide a list of Candidates, their official campaign websites, and when it gets closer to the election, we will sponser debates between all the candidates.


Elephant pulls right.


Donkey pulls left.

Americans being pulled apart by Elephants and Donkeys.

So, without further ado, here are the candidates who will be running for the Highest Office in the Universe.


is brought to you by
Candidate Arguments For Arguments Against
MikeHuckabee Mike Huckabee
  • Name sounds like a fun restaurant
  • Has plenty of spare skin to go around
RonPaulHeil Ron Paul
  • Not a real Republican
  • Incapable of making facial expressions
McCain, Bush Katrina B-Day John McCain
BillyDeeWilliams Alan Keyes
  • Nobody even knows he's running!


is brought to you by
Candidate 08 Arguments For Arguments Against
Hillmain Hillary Clinton 08
  • Has buns of steel.
  • Has serpent hair and a gaze that turns men to stone.
  • Hates cigars.
  • No Thatcher
TheJerk1 باراك أوباما 08
  • We're told he's black.
GravelHoboBindle Mike Gravel
  • Kinda crazy: perfect for scaring America's enemies into submission.
  • Rambles off on odd tangents during speeches when my friend's dog enjoys running in the park and when you look up at the sky you see funny shapes and...

Draft MovementEdit

is brought to you by
Candidate, Party Arguments For Arguments Against
CastSignBloomberg2 Michael Bloomberg, (???)  ??? pros  ??? cons
20060508110509990010 Al Gore, Democrat fatso pros fatso cons
Nader Ralph Nader, Independent *Helped The Greatest President Ever get elected. hippie cons

Lou Dobbs, American lou pros lou cons
CondiPoster Condoleezza Rice, American work wife pros work wife cons
JebandGeorge Jeb Bush, American *Brother to The Greatest President Ever. jethro cons
NewtGingrich1 Newt Gingrich, American *Led the fight to impeach Bill Clinton. *Failed to impeach Bill Clinton.
RichardCheney Richard Cheney, American *Vice President to the The Greatest President Ever. darth cons

Filling DeadlinesEdit

Paperwork Deadline
Announce your next press conference December 2007
Announce intention to create exploratory committee December 2007
Announce when you will announce whether you will decide to announce if you will be running December, 2007

See alsoEdit

Independent, what a loser

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