Ed Helms

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Ed Helms
was a correspondent for "The Daily Show"
Not quite girlie, not quite man,
Ed Helms
is all Girlieman.

Ed Helms clearly bearing no resemblance to the Great Stephen Colbert

Ed Helms (born 2000, will die whenever Stephen says so) is on The Daily Show, which automatically makes him not nearly as great as Stephen Colbert, but Ed Helms isn't as great as Stephen Colbert anyway. Ed Helms is the result of Stephen trying to clone himself, which resulted in this ugly, evil non-identical clone. Some people think that they look similar, but Stephen Colbert is the sexiest middle-aged white guy ever, and Ed Helms looks like a cross between Willy Wonka and Hitler. Ed changed his look, but he now looks uglier.

Ed Helms TriviaEdit

  • The reason for Ed Helms' prodigious height and... general appearance... is exposure to a nucular power plant meltdown while Stephen was trying to clone himself.
  • Ed Helms is ugly. It's true. Don't even try to argue. This page says he is ugly, so believe it!
  • On a scale of greatness, Ed Helms falls somewhere between Jon Stewart and Al Franken.
  • Ed Helms' greatest aspiration is to become a Delicious Candy Taster.
  • Ed Helms will rip the head off a bison and sauté its nuts in olive oil to a golden brown just because he heard that it will make him see two inches further into another man's soul!
  • Ed Helms' best (and only true) friend is his cat, Mr. Whiskers (named after Stephen's dead cat in a desperate attempt to make Stephen like him more).
  • Ed Helms also appeared on "The Orifice," where someone put his calculator in jello. His character is currently in anger management.
  • Ed Helms is a failed attempt by the Democratic party to create a liberal Colbert Clone.
  • Stephen has a destruct button and can kill Ed whenever he feels like.
  • Ed Helms hates beavers.

This is five seconds after Ed's cell phone was hidden. This is also five seconds before he was sent to anger management.


Ed Helms: banjo player and pig latin speaker.


Ed Helms getting pepper-sprayed in the face in "The Orifice."

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