A drum circle is a gathering of hippies founded on their tradition of pounding out loud, nonmusical rhythms on bongos.
When the "male" of the hippie species gets emotional, he gathers together with the rest of his smelly bretheren to pound upon drums and wail around a fire until they pass out drunk.
While found in some form or another wherever hemp products are sold, Hippie drum circles are found mostly in Sedona, Arizona, Eugene and Portland, Oregon, where the wide availability of marijuana coincides with the abysmal state economy.
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The Drum Circle was invented in Sedona, Arizona, during [[World War II] by the honorable Yavapai-Apache and Navajo Codetalkers (who are the oldest and fiercest tribes of Real Americans) for the purpose of protecting Human Beings and confusing Japanese Kamikaze dogs, causing them to crash into their own evil ships. Mistaking self destructive, suicidal confusion for a cheap high and unaware that only Yavapai and Navajo Codetalkers are immune to the deliterious effects of drum circles, and in fact they strengthen their Chi, Drum Circles were embraced by Hippie scum.
In a secret summit with the Yavapai and Navajo held at John McCain's lair in Sedona, pursuant to the Republican Final Solution it was determined that this tendancy would be exploited. It was decreed that Hippies would be lured to Sedona and charged exhorbitant sums of money to be "drum circled." The ultimate goal being that Drum Circling would be carried to Burning Man and in an orgy of hallucinagenic frenzy all the hippies would commit the largest mass suicide in history and throw themselves into the inferno like Lemmings hurtling into the sea.
Implementing The StrategyEdit
The Hippie, with the lure of spiritual bliss is put in a gas guzzling four wheel drive vehicle (Hippies will always sell out their beliefs to get high)and driven far out into the Arizona desert, to a "Vortex" where all the money is sucked from their smelly pockets. They are then whipped into a suicidal frenzy by the seductive tonal quality of the Navajo drums and chants. They are then returned to Sedona and sold drums and books on Drum Circling to take back to Eugene and San Francisco to infect more hippies. They are also sold Hacky sacks filled with Ricin.
- Because Native Americans are spiritual and Hippies believe they are too, hippies assume they are bretheren. This is a Falsism. A Native American would sooner kill and eat a hippie than a Bear. Hippies are easier to catch, don't fight back, taste better, and usually have beads which can be traded for Whiskey and Guns.
Blatent Self Serving RandomnessEdit
Sedona, AZ (originally Sedona Station, AZ) is named after Sedona Miller Schnebly (1877–1950), the wife of the city's first postmaster, Theodore Schnebly. Schenbly Station would not would not fit on the postage cancellation seal.